McCarty Musings

What Are You Reading?

The wonderful Fortneys were over last weekend (where poor Amanda sprained both her ankles on our treacherous stairs) and at one point noticed, "I love how your sisters ask you what you're reading instead of how you are doing!". (And I love that she noticed that.) 

I get made fun of a little for talking so much about books. I can see how it can get annoying. But I can't seem to help it! I did have a wonderful dinner with my librarian friend the other night and we talked about books and little else for two hours- the perfect dinner! And even though we were talking about books, we left knowing a lot about how the other was doing and what was going on in each other's lives- because the discussion of literature- and our reactions to it- always lead to more personal reflections- why did we love or hate a certain book, a certain character, a conclusion drawn, a question left unresolved? What did it teach us, remind us of, make us feel? How will it change the way we see and interact with difficult people in our lives? How did it give us hope to go on? These are far more personal areas of communication than we get into in casual conversation. If I know what you are reading, if I can talk about it with you, ask you questions- I learn what you value and a little bit about the way you think.

A good friend of my sister Kinsey (an acquaintance of ours) is Dustin Ragland, who is a stellar person and involved in all kinds of good here in Oklahoma. He recently wrote on his blog OKC Herbivore to review The Sacredness of Questioning Everything by David Dark, noting,

"One key phrase Dark offers is in the fourth chapter, where he asserts "what we're reading or listening to, or rather, what we are getting into lately is in some sense the most profound question we can ask each other" (82)." 

I'm glad other people agree that this question can lead to powerful ways of knowing each other. So, what have you been reading lately?

It's Hard to Be Three When You Want to Be Fourteen

In my family, this expression is called "The Henson Laser Eyes". It can cut through glass.

Harper is not happy lately. Her general state of mind is Frustration At The World. She knows what she wants and The World just will not cooperate. Tantrums, time outs, mean-voiced talking. She's bored, she's hungry, the blanket WILL NOT LAY PERFECTLY STRAIGHT #$%*&*!!!

Good thing for her that she's still cute and her melodrama is hilarious. It's just hard not to laugh sometimes...when I'm not tempted to pull out my hair.

Wherein the McCarty Musers Covet Their Neighbor's Ass

This little donkey belongs to our neighbors to the south- they have horses, too, and love it when Harper comes over for a visit. This donkey has the personality of a snuggly puppy- and he and Harper hit it off right away. She doesn't know that this donkey visited us at the Christmas just before her birth- so essentially, the donkey has known her since she was -1 month old.

Things They Don’t Mention in Church

(or: The Theology of Cormac McCarthy)

There are things God cannot fix. This does not mean we have permission to stop trying. God is lonely, too. Happiness is not a right- it’s only ever a moment of kindness you did not expect. Some of you will remain kind in spite of everything. Some of you will find small things to do in this life that coruscate joy in a world filled with pain. It’s up to you to save the lost, the hurting, those stranded on the night-road to Nowhere. One day God will tell you this- so learn it before you have to explain your hard heart, your cold and ugly rationality. Be crazy. God does not make sense and will not in this life, and perhaps not in the world to come. God does not ask that your life make sense, only that your heart remain vulnerable. Jesus told you how to live when he said, “They will know you by your love” -and little else, my friend. Little else is ever given. Except…

keep walking.

Keep walking.

Keep walking-

even and especially when it no longer makes sense to do so.

Speak to Me Only With Thine Eyes

I have a few friends who don’t ask me how I am. 

It’s not that they are self-absorbed or don’t care- quite the opposite. These precious ones don’t need to ask- when we meet, they look carefully into my eyes, listen to my voice, and can tell. And I can tell they’re processing all this when I look into their eyes, meeting a searching glance and seeing a slight nod. 

You may think all this is too subjective to be accurate- but it works for two reasons: 

1. My face and eyes are an open book to any careful reader. 

2. I almost never tell the truth when someone asks me how I am, anyway- even when people I love ask me the question. “Fine” is the reflexive answer in this culture. And, hell, sometimes I don’t know how I am. Other times I can’t put it into words. And most people don’t want you to ramble for five minutes- we’re busy- we have things to do- items on our agenda to check off. And I am also trying to gage how they are doing.

For these reasons, I appreciate my rare and precious friends who don’t ask as much as know how I am. Thanks to you- and I won't name names- you probably know if you're one of them, don't you?

I LOVE AMANDA FORTNEY

That's all. I just needed to say it in all caps.

"A lot of the time, the best movies aren't novels, they're poems."  

-Dave Eggers

Warrior Princess

I got Harper a little cardboard house that you can color. It fits in her room or the living room, you can color on it, and it has two opening windows and doors. Tonight Micah was cooking dinner and said Harper suddenly exploded from the little house, running upstairs while mumbling frantically under her breath, "Gotta save the Lost Boys, gotta save the Lost Boys!".

You go, pirate-warrior princess! You go save those boys, then let's cuddle and at bedtime I'll sing you as many lullabies as you want.

Viva Frida!

Harper asked me to share her favorite books on art and creativity with you. We "do art" of all kinds every day- including music, dance and photography (I love digital cameras- she can snap away and there's never the thought of expensive film wasted. She's also taken a few good shots!).  Currently she has her heart set on becoming a ballerina, and has my full support.  Her grandma took her to the Children's Theater to see "Beauty and the Beast"- her first live production. She was enthralled, but my mom said that every once in a while she would lean over and stage whisper, "I CAN DO WHAT THEY'RE DOING, NANA. I CAN DO THAT." Girl's got some serious uterus.

Here are Harper's favorite books on the subject:

1. Frida by Jonah Winter and Ana Juan: This may be Kristen's favorite children's book of all time. It's a children's picture/biography book about the life of Frida Kahlo, and it is magical. The pictures are extraordinary and the words poetic. I love it because of it's emphasis on the way art can give us a beautiful way to express and triumph over our pain- both physical and mental. I've always loved Frida, and I have an art book with many of her paintings- Harper and I love to look at it together and talking about her art.

2. The Dot and Ish- both by Peter H. Reynolds: These books are wonderful, and they are a testament to those rare and wonderful teachers and people in our lives who come along at just the right time to encourage artists. Without these people, many artists would have given up, or never gotten very far at all. Children can be too hard on themselves and their efforts- these are a tribute to the Encouragers.

3. The Artist-(We got this at the Chickasha library and I should have written down the author's name because now I can't find it!)  Beginning "Once there was a young artist..." a lovely metaphor unspools. Harper now says things like, "I love the way God painted those trees so green, Mama."

4. Harold and the Purple Crayon- by Crockett Johnson: If you have kids and haven't read this, please get it from the library. It's a classic, and I love the way it shows how some children are able to create their own worlds with their own rules and with only whatever small resources that are available to them.

5. Weslandia- by Paul Fleischman: The uncool kid becomes the coolest kid of all. I don't know how often this actually happens in childhood- but it reminds me a little of the story of Bill Gates. I'm not doing a good job describing this book- there aren't computers in it at all. But it's funny and inspiring.  

Enjoy! Much love from Harper

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"You do not have to be good." -Mary Oliver

"Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be at least a little better than I've been so far." -The Avett Brothers