Vengeance is Mine, Saith the Kristen

I used to hate men. Really, I did. When I was in junior high, I always said I was going to start the first order of Baptist Nuns (which was a bad idea for a whole host of reasons). I’m sorry, I know it’s wrong, but all the faults men tend to have just really got under my skin. I am getting over this irrational hatred, trying not to make these sweeping generalizations, and Micah’s been a big part of that. But here’s the other part- working with a group of women every day has helped make it clear to me: women have got their own set of problems. There’s the whole “nice to your face, evil behind your back” thing. I don’t need to go into it- we’ve all heard it discussed ad nauseum. But I thought I would share a funny story of what happened to me at work a few days ago.

I left the office and ran into a group of three teachers shooting the breeze in the hall, politely said hello, and quickly made my way to a classroom. I’m trying to find a child who just won’t remember to come see me for medication they badly need, and finding this child is never simple. On the way back to the clinic, I approached the group of three teachers again. One was talking with her back to me, the other two see me coming and get this awkward, guilty look on their faces. We all know what’s coming, right? As I get closer I realize that this teacher is making fun of the way I walk. (Which has been made fun of before, I suppose there’s work to be done in this area.) Apparently my walk was too “bouncy” for her. Apparently she thinks that as I traverse the halls of this school, tracking down forgetful kids and trying to get back to the clinic before someone else pukes or pees on the floor, I should also be pretending I’m in the Miss America pageant, working the runway. I stood at her side and smiled sardonically, which let her know I know, and watched her fumble to cover her tracks and change the subject.

No big deal- that’s just women. Here’s the funny part though: today I’m sitting at my desk in the clinic, and teachers always wave as they walk out the office door. Pageant-Coach Teacher just tried to coordinate waving at me and pushing open the door at the same time….and tripped in a big way. A big way. She laughed embarrassedly, and I tried to laugh in a gentle “it’s-not-at-you, it’s-with-you” kind of way. She’s really not a bad person. And I’ve certainly committed the very same crime before. But I did find it deliciously ironic that she seemed to be having trouble with the very thing she made fun of me for.

This whole situation reminded me of a great thing about most guys. A guy would have either never noticed the walk thing, or would have just made fun of me to my face. There’s something to be said for both straight-forwardness and unobservance.

Comments

[kristen c]

I like your walk, Kristen M. It's a happy walk.

[Kristen]

You're a good friend, Kristen C.