McCarty Musings: Life Rule #1: Have Meaningful Work to Do on a Daily Basis

Today, Micah calls to talk about Normal People Stuff and I interrupt him.

K: Did you know that there is a disease called "Farmer’s Lung"?
M: Yeah, I think I’ve heard of that before.
K: I guess from inhaling all the fertilizer and insecticides and poop-dust?
M: Yeah.
K: But what about "Bird-Fancier’s Lung"? Did you know you can get a lung disease from fancying birds?
M: No.
K: And Cheese-Washer’s Lung? People wash cheese?! And this is bad for your lungs how?
M: Aren’t you at work?
K: Micah, I am a nurse. A nurse. I have to know all about diseases so that I can help people. For instance, people that fancy birds. Or wash cheese. Or that strip maple-bark.
M: What??
K: Maple-Bark Stripper’s Lung. I don’t think that’s a disease for strippers whose stage name is Maple-Bark. I think it’s from working with the actual bark of a tree.
M: Who are you?
K: I’m Kristen. Ooh, listen to this one: Pituitary Snuff-Taker’s Disease. I could not make this stuff up! Detergent Asthma! Cork-Handler’s Disease! Silo-Filler’s Disease! Vanishing Lung!! Now that one is scary. What if you woke up one day and one of your lungs had just vanished??
M: I’m going to call you later.
K: I’m going to make up a story about someone whose lung just vanishes one morning. Or is that too derivative of Kafka?
M: Seriously, I’m going to say goodbye.
K: Seriously, I’m going to learn more about rare pulmonary diseases! I’ll say this- we do not want Harper growing up to wash cheese. Or to be a stripper. Even if her stage name isn’t Maple-Bark, I don’t think we should encourage that career path. You never know- she could get a pulmonary disease named after her.

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