What Paul Might Have Written

So.
I really love Jesus.
But...there are still a few problems that I struggle with, even with the Carpenter. A few years ago, I decided to read through the New Testament in the Message version. I got half-way through Matthew and put it down. I told Micah, “Jesus seems mean in this version. Angry and short-tempered. Like a housewife with too many children.” I guess he did have twelve of them, after all.

Also, what about the time he told the disciples to “cast not their pearls before swine”? I'm not sure I like Jesus comparing humans to swine, especially on the days I find the metaphor apropos. I really want to attribute that statement to Paul. Doesn’t that sound exactly like something Paul would say? (Except if Paul said it, the swine would equal women instead of people who don’t care to listen. I’m kicking Paul’s ass when I get to heaven. Just once. And then I’ll be good.) It also sounds like something I might say at the end of a long day. But I don’t want Jesus to say it! Jesus is supposed to be more long-suffering than I am, right? Right??

And then, the whole “Dogs get the crumbs from my table” story. I feel like a dog most days, and I think what I get most of the time is crumbs, which is more than I deserve, so perhaps that is how I should read the story, but still find it disturbing. Is this the same Christ who spent time with the woman at the well in Samaria? I wonder if the disciples ever took some artistic liberties?

"With all those books upon your shelves
there is no need for certainty..."
-Beat Radio

"With all the sand that gets into this world
we should all be mfkin' pearls."
-Antje Duvekot

Comments

[sister]

hey sister, i just finished a song about some thoughts over the sermon on the mount this week. it's mostly confusion with a side of "what the hell". i'll send it to you.

[kristen c]

So we were visiting old friends from Aaron's college days last weekend. He is a Young Life high school director and aspiring pastor. They are great people, really. We were munching on snacks in the kitchen and their four-year-old daughter told her mom she learned about Paul in Sunday school that morning. "Who was Paul?" her mom followed with a question. And I chimed in, "Oh, just a guy whose writing kept women out of church leadership for like 2000 years." I seriously could not believe I said that--my heart started racing and I nervously laughed. Both of our old friends kind of squinted and paused, and then ignored my very-out-of-place remark.

[cheek]

You deserve much more than crumbs my friend. That's the Pauline-Baptist conditioning talking.

[cheekfam]

Remember, while Paul certainly had his cultural biases and probably deserves a boot to the rear, he really was more open to women in leadership roles than the white, male translators and interpreters were willing to let him be.

[susan Horton]

Hey you beautiful brilliant thing, I have always had a problem with Paul. I got your back in heaven. If Paul gets past you I'll kick him in the sack. I'm small but I can kick sack with the best.

[Colby]

I can't tell you guys how much I love ready your blog. You guys have great taste in books in music that is close to my own. I noticed you have J. Mark G. Williams' book on depression. Is this a book you would recommend for coping with depression? It looks good. Thanks!

[Grasshopper]

My feelings were hurt as well when I read the whole deal about how gentiles are dogs who get the crumbs....then someone explained to me that Jesus was just using sarcasm trying make a point to the disciples who had just been acting like they were better than gentiles.

[j-fo]

Speaking of "dogs who usually get the crumbs but occasionally get a really great milkbone covered in chocolate," Did you all hear that Tom Waits is going to be in Tulsa on June 25?!?

[Kristen]

I love Tom Waits so bad. I think he's shaping my theology, though, which is terrible.

[Kristen]

$85???? WTF? Tom Waits is the voice of the poor and depressed alcoholic bastards- the very people who would never have 85 dollars to spend on a concert. I'm so disappointed. I know he a legend, but sheesh.